Thank you for the shoutout Louie! As a a neuroscience PhD, former biotech marketing leader, and a Buddhist chaplain-in-training, my newsletter helps fellow overthinkers practice *actionable* mindfulness to spark epiphanies and build better relationships.
I'm not surprised at all by how hard you worked (and continue to work!) I'm wondering how you instill the same values in your children when they are not living under as hard circumstances? Perhaps a future issue :)
Apr 17, 2023·edited Apr 17, 2023Liked by Louie Bacaj
> The last lesson is that a good family upbringing can serve you in almost any environment. I am trying hard to create a similar environment for my kids now.
I often hear this sentiment from parents, but I'm not a parent though I'd like to be some day, and I'm interested in your take...
What are some of the things you do (and don't do) to create that similar environment for your kids?
Because I imagine it might not be so easy. I know parents who say, "I don't want my kids to suffer the way I had to suffer." And then there are those on the other end who say, I'm not doing *anything* for them; they'll just have to figure out life for themselves.
For me, I don’t think it was so much the suffering as a kid that taught me all that, it was being surrounded by family that all in their own way imparted different wisdom on me. Back in the old country they suffered much more than me they were adults that were poor and stressed, I was just a kid.
So for me with my kids I think the key thing is to expose them to as much family as possible and to stay around family as much as I can. I live close to my parents and in laws and brother and so on.
And hopefully they’ll soak up some lessons from some of them. I’m not naive enough to believe I can teach them everything myself.
As the saying goes, "it takes a village to raise a child," and it sounds like the approach you have very much embodies that. Neat!
I guess it also helps that your family probably has and shares the same core familial values.
I say that because, let's just say, I know families that aren't as "tight." Maybe family members just don't communicate very well with one another, and they easily misunderstand one another. Some families just seem to drift apart for some reason. But to make your approach work, everybody would have to be "in it together" - so to speak.
I think that just speaks volumes about how strong the ties are within your family, and that's always very inspiring to read about.
The original article I read about Plenty Of Fish had a good focus on how he (unlike many software developers like us) refused to tweak the site to make it look and perform better. One example was how profile pics were crammed into the same box with the same aspect ratio, no matter what dimensions the user had uploaded. Which meant they had to click on it to see the full unskewed image. That click meant pay per click advertising, and little things like that, if tweaked for the better, could actually harm you. He essentially said "This is working, and it's very hard to plan that, and I'm not messing with success"... That plus the general argument of endlessly tweaking and improving creates endless work in the form of new features, and new bugs to fix.
Thank you for the shoutout Louie! As a a neuroscience PhD, former biotech marketing leader, and a Buddhist chaplain-in-training, my newsletter helps fellow overthinkers practice *actionable* mindfulness to spark epiphanies and build better relationships.
I'm not surprised at all by how hard you worked (and continue to work!) I'm wondering how you instill the same values in your children when they are not living under as hard circumstances? Perhaps a future issue :)
> The last lesson is that a good family upbringing can serve you in almost any environment. I am trying hard to create a similar environment for my kids now.
I often hear this sentiment from parents, but I'm not a parent though I'd like to be some day, and I'm interested in your take...
What are some of the things you do (and don't do) to create that similar environment for your kids?
Because I imagine it might not be so easy. I know parents who say, "I don't want my kids to suffer the way I had to suffer." And then there are those on the other end who say, I'm not doing *anything* for them; they'll just have to figure out life for themselves.
It’s a great question Alvin.
For me, I don’t think it was so much the suffering as a kid that taught me all that, it was being surrounded by family that all in their own way imparted different wisdom on me. Back in the old country they suffered much more than me they were adults that were poor and stressed, I was just a kid.
So for me with my kids I think the key thing is to expose them to as much family as possible and to stay around family as much as I can. I live close to my parents and in laws and brother and so on.
And hopefully they’ll soak up some lessons from some of them. I’m not naive enough to believe I can teach them everything myself.
That's awesome!
As the saying goes, "it takes a village to raise a child," and it sounds like the approach you have very much embodies that. Neat!
I guess it also helps that your family probably has and shares the same core familial values.
I say that because, let's just say, I know families that aren't as "tight." Maybe family members just don't communicate very well with one another, and they easily misunderstand one another. Some families just seem to drift apart for some reason. But to make your approach work, everybody would have to be "in it together" - so to speak.
I think that just speaks volumes about how strong the ties are within your family, and that's always very inspiring to read about.
Fellow non-parent here. but I have taught before in a polytechnic handling 18-20 year old students before.
The best writing I have come across on educating children is
https://escapingflatland.substack.com/p/childhoods
I particularly like Exceptional people grow up in exceptional milieus => https://escapingflatland.substack.com/i/82323090/exceptional-people-grow-up-in-exceptional-milieus
What Louie is doing with the small bets community is to create such a millieu
> What Louie is doing with the small bets community is to create such a millieu
I like to think he's also doing it with Newsletter Launchpad.
But, if he's not, I will.
Did you hear that, Louie? I'll help create a millieu with NL. I'm ready to accept the job offer! 😆
Love the story and your resilience, Louie! I hope your kids will have the same kind of experience and work ethic.
Great story!
> If you would not be forgotten
>
>As soon as you are dead and rotten,
>
>Either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing.
>
> – Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanac
Thanks for sharing this, @Louie Bacaj. I really love this.
I feel like refactoring that last line.
> If writing things worth reading isn't working out, maybe is time to try to do things worth the writing.
Either takes efforts.
Have a good one, Louie 👍
The original article I read about Plenty Of Fish had a good focus on how he (unlike many software developers like us) refused to tweak the site to make it look and perform better. One example was how profile pics were crammed into the same box with the same aspect ratio, no matter what dimensions the user had uploaded. Which meant they had to click on it to see the full unskewed image. That click meant pay per click advertising, and little things like that, if tweaked for the better, could actually harm you. He essentially said "This is working, and it's very hard to plan that, and I'm not messing with success"... That plus the general argument of endlessly tweaking and improving creates endless work in the form of new features, and new bugs to fix.