Just as many people think themselves better than they really are, many also think their way of thinking is more universal than it really is. I vehemently disagree with your tweet emphatically stating that people care exclusively about how you have and can help them. I'm a utilitarian and libertarian socialist (values which do sometimes conflict but that's beyond the scope of this comment unless you're curious in which case I'm happy to discuss it!) not because I covet and crave and envy what others have, but because I've lived a privledged, spoiled, mostly-charmed life largely thanks to situations and circumstances I can take little to no credit for, and I want everyone and every creature to be as blessed as I have been. I hate suffering and want better for others because they should not suffer as well.
Appreciate your comment and you sharing your story Bryan.
Glad we can disagree on some things respectfully.
It’s funny because that Tweet and that tendency leads to almost a paradox. At a base level people only caring about what others can do for them leads some others to only care about what they can do for others. And even in the bible Jesus said something along the lines of “the tree that can’t produce fruit should be cut down for firewood.” So in some ways it’s not such a bad thing to be useful to others and the world in some ways, which is what that behaviors mentioned in the tweet I think leads to ultimately.
But we’ve had different lives and had different experiences. And so it wouldn’t make sense that we’d seen all the same things. Clearly there is some merit to the tweet or most people would disagree with if.
I don't even remember what the exact tweet was beyond being fairly Ayn Rand-esque, but "clearly there is some merit to this tweet or... etc." reminds me of my observation that you can find a convincing sounding aphorism, proverb, quip, soundbite, etc. for pretty much any position you're trying to support and use it for a bite sized ethos (or pathos? I feel like that's emotion though) boost to your argument. A classic example is the lazy smart-ass who says "good things come to those who wait, so I'll take my time and do [__] tomorrow!"
Damn Louie, you just keep getting more nuanced, engaging and thoughtful in your thinking about participating in the value game. Since there is such a thing as "excessive self-regard" then I assume there would be such a thing as "reasonable self-regard." And in that respect I'd venture to guess that the kind of self-awareness and self-knowledge that comes having direct experience of your personal strengths and weaknesses, knowing when and where to bet on yourself, and when and where to ask for help or perspective, would all be highly beneficial. And then additionally, we'd feel an ethical obligation not to take advantage of those who have "diminished self-regard" by trying to sell them things they don't need.
I absolutely see you doing this Louie. In fact, excessive self-regard and diminished self-regard are really two sides of the same coin, you almost can't have one without the other because both are just symptoms of not seeing oneself clearly. Everything I see you doing so far through your writing and your sessions is being an ambassador for reasonable self-regard.
Just as many people think themselves better than they really are, many also think their way of thinking is more universal than it really is. I vehemently disagree with your tweet emphatically stating that people care exclusively about how you have and can help them. I'm a utilitarian and libertarian socialist (values which do sometimes conflict but that's beyond the scope of this comment unless you're curious in which case I'm happy to discuss it!) not because I covet and crave and envy what others have, but because I've lived a privledged, spoiled, mostly-charmed life largely thanks to situations and circumstances I can take little to no credit for, and I want everyone and every creature to be as blessed as I have been. I hate suffering and want better for others because they should not suffer as well.
Appreciate your comment and you sharing your story Bryan.
Glad we can disagree on some things respectfully.
It’s funny because that Tweet and that tendency leads to almost a paradox. At a base level people only caring about what others can do for them leads some others to only care about what they can do for others. And even in the bible Jesus said something along the lines of “the tree that can’t produce fruit should be cut down for firewood.” So in some ways it’s not such a bad thing to be useful to others and the world in some ways, which is what that behaviors mentioned in the tweet I think leads to ultimately.
But we’ve had different lives and had different experiences. And so it wouldn’t make sense that we’d seen all the same things. Clearly there is some merit to the tweet or most people would disagree with if.
I don't even remember what the exact tweet was beyond being fairly Ayn Rand-esque, but "clearly there is some merit to this tweet or... etc." reminds me of my observation that you can find a convincing sounding aphorism, proverb, quip, soundbite, etc. for pretty much any position you're trying to support and use it for a bite sized ethos (or pathos? I feel like that's emotion though) boost to your argument. A classic example is the lazy smart-ass who says "good things come to those who wait, so I'll take my time and do [__] tomorrow!"
(It's me; I'm the lazy smart-ass lol)
Damn Louie, you just keep getting more nuanced, engaging and thoughtful in your thinking about participating in the value game. Since there is such a thing as "excessive self-regard" then I assume there would be such a thing as "reasonable self-regard." And in that respect I'd venture to guess that the kind of self-awareness and self-knowledge that comes having direct experience of your personal strengths and weaknesses, knowing when and where to bet on yourself, and when and where to ask for help or perspective, would all be highly beneficial. And then additionally, we'd feel an ethical obligation not to take advantage of those who have "diminished self-regard" by trying to sell them things they don't need.
Such a good way to put it Rick.
“Reasonable-self-regard” is for sure the goal.
And we should try to lift those with “diminished-self-regard”
I absolutely see you doing this Louie. In fact, excessive self-regard and diminished self-regard are really two sides of the same coin, you almost can't have one without the other because both are just symptoms of not seeing oneself clearly. Everything I see you doing so far through your writing and your sessions is being an ambassador for reasonable self-regard.