I was on pins and needles while they vetted me. My wife and I dated for close to a year before we fell in love, and I was sure I wanted to marry her. But in my culture, you need approval to marry someone. You need their family's blessing. This is common in many cultures. The groom usually asks the father for their daughter's hand in marriage. In the U.S., for many of my friends, this is more of a formality from an old-symbolic tradition than a hard requirement.
The custom also requires maturity and a certain selfless good judgment in the parents. I fear my parents, for example, without the guidance of long-established custom, would have used that power to force me to marry somebody who conformed to their narrow religious beliefs and / or social ambitions. Everyone has to step up for a practice like that to be useful and ensure the couple has the best chance at happiness and continuing the family line.
Background-checking traditions (which we also have here in Latin America society) can look unfair from the individual perspective but they promote stability at the society level. It seems to me that many traditions have this stability purpose even though they are not explicitly justified as such...
Louie, my culture even goes further, they check whether the bride and groom's stars match as well, which is totally out of our hands..
Keep good company is simple enduring advice. And you're generously providing that to a lot of people out there Louie.
What a powerful idea that is to keep good company Rick. It’s so simple yet so impactful.
You made a great connection in this one between the reality of the driving factors in the conventional “addiction”
model and the tacit knowledge embedded in traditional courtship customs--thought provoking!
Thanks Chris. We can indeed be blinded to a lot of issues when we first fall in love.
The custom also requires maturity and a certain selfless good judgment in the parents. I fear my parents, for example, without the guidance of long-established custom, would have used that power to force me to marry somebody who conformed to their narrow religious beliefs and / or social ambitions. Everyone has to step up for a practice like that to be useful and ensure the couple has the best chance at happiness and continuing the family line.
I’m in the unfair side as well. You bet that will cost you and decide the direction of your life.
Somewhere in recent interviews Peter Attia said I’m building up so much hatred and it clearly shows .. spills when I interact with other.
Shit happened and moving on.. dragging along
Background-checking traditions (which we also have here in Latin America society) can look unfair from the individual perspective but they promote stability at the society level. It seems to me that many traditions have this stability purpose even though they are not explicitly justified as such...